WARNING: 1)unless you are ready to read a ridiculous entry that is extremely random, do not proceed.  2)entry involves alot of soul baring--be prepared to have your face melt off like JD's in Scrubs when Carla opens up.

so.... 'living intentionally'  2 words, but so much meaning in them.  --living with purpose, --living so that your actions reflect your intentions, --living responsibly with your actions... mmm...   life is too short not to be lived intensionally... people say you should live for the day--live for the moment... and to an extent that maybe true, but what if living with your actions for the moment ends up cause you weeks and months of agony?  and worse--what if your reckless actions end up causing suffering for others... 

i want my actions to be pure, i want them to be clear... i dont want my actions to cause confusion for others.  i want to live boldly, without fear of failure.  i want to live intentionally with the purpose of bring glory and honor to God.
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i want to live a life of purpose, i want to live a life so that when i look back i can appreciate the friendships that i've made, and enjoy the memories that i have...  more than all this i want to live a life that glorifies God.  like a child who races home to show her father her finger paintings, i long to please God--i long to bring a smile to His face.   i long to live a life that reflects His love, that displays His heart to the world.... i want to mourn about the pain and suffering in the world, like God mourns, i want to be the one to comfort the suffering... i want to cry with them, but more than that--i want to show them God's love for them, God's heart for them. 
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sometimes i get so frustrated because i want to do great things for God, but i feel like i have to wait until i can do them.... i have to wait to get my nursing degree, i have to wait to go to Africa..  i know that God has placed me here, right now for specific purposes in His plan, but sometimes i get anxious to do something of epic proportions for God
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how do you know what God wants you to do... through prayer, and seeking God, by asking people of faith who are important to you for advice and prayer... not all opportunities are meant to be taken, but how do you discern which route to take?  what if both routes appear to be good, and that neither are obviously poor choices... then what? 


mm... in need to wisdom, reassurance, courage and peace...   in spite of all this i know one thing is true--God is faithful, when we are not faithful, God is love, when we are not love--and God is always good. :)  Amen.

I've been reading this book by Rob Bell which comes highly recommended to me by three different people.  The book's called "Sex God"--now before you jump to any conclusions I suggest you look it up and read a summary.  The chapter that I just finished is about love, it covers alot of things that I've been told or learned before but reading it helped me understand it in a whole new light.  During one part of the chapter Rob Bell talks about how love is making yourself vulnerable and giving someone else power by letting them into our hearts.  Rob Bell talks about how in order for God to express His love for us He had to strip Himself of all his glory, power and authority--and He did this by sending Jesus.  This makes complete sense, but it helped me to see things in a new light. 

Later in this same chapter, Rob Bell writes about rejection and suffering.  A simple initial impulse is to blame and curse God for allow this to happen to us.  But no one knows better about rejection and being shunned than God does.  This summer I've been learning to take my own personal painful experiences and see them in a whole new light.  When I am rejected or hurt by one person it is so hard to reopen my heart and allow myself to be vulnerable to them again.  How much harder it must be for God... how much more pain  He must suffer, and yet He still loves us... and yet His arms are still open and waiting for us to return to Him.  So in a strange way--I'm thankful for the rejection that I've faced, the pain and suffering that I will go through in this life...because in the end it brings me that much closer to God...

I was trying to find a fitting verse to go with this, but all that I found right now was James 1:2-4.  If you can think of any other verses feel free to post them!
          ~ "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."~

, 'Cilla

Hello, from sunny Virginia Beach~!!  Well, its only been 6 days and I'm already bronzing nicely...   I've been to 4 sessions, and I've worked 2 full day shifts.  This summer I'll be working in a hotel as a waitress/hostess....it's not been to bad, and work's been kinda slow--but things will pick up really soon (Memorial Day weekend) and from there on out the summer will be pretty busy... I'm pretty excited to see what else LT has in store for me. 

Basically... the best word to describe LT would be "intense".  We're all working full time, we have 2-3 sessions (which are really really challenging... being the "sentimental" person I am I've teared up in every single one so far) a week and a project day, and we have 8 people living in each apartment (2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms)... Intense... yea... that's the word...

Anyway, God has been doing amazing things and it's just been amazing to see Him make changes in my life and in the lives of other around me.  I've learned so much and changed so much and it's not even been a week yet!  In our first session we were challenged to "sign a contract with all of our lives--possessions, worries, hopes/dreams, the present, the future--all of it to God.  It doesn't sound very difficult, but if you think about it it's alot... more that I want to hand out of my control--but I'm learning to lean and trust only in Him. 

If anyone is looking to hear some new worship music I suggest the newest Hillsong cd.  We've been singing some of the songs in worship and I really like the song entitled "Take it All"...it's beautiful...

Ok, well ciao for now~!